#3 The Law of Attraction

#3:  Her Attraction to Him  The continued study of the Shulamite woman from the Old Testament book: Song of Solomon

You have probably heard the statement, "want what you have".  The enemy is always ready to deceive and devour those who dwell in the land of discontentment.  A wife who is able to keep an attitude of “I’m here because I want to be” has not only become a defense against many enemy forces in her own marriage but she has also created an area of great expectation for her daughter and her future marriage.  In other words, why would a daughter want to save herself for something that looks miserable?  It’s a proven fact that children learn what they live and a woman who lives scornfully inside her marriage need not expect her daughters to have a high regard for it.  On the other hand, a woman who knows how to celebrate her husband within her home will not only help cultivate a healthy desire but also a hope of something worth waiting for in all her children.

The Shulamite woman was able to express clearly how she felt about her marriage.  She certainly displayed an attitude of “I’m glad to be here”.  She was able to model a woman who was content and at peace with how things had turned out.  Her celebration of her husband was enticing and admonishing to us all!  She definitely knew how to talk to the King.  She understood how to affirm his masculinity, praise his strength and appreciate his power.  What man could resist such a woman?  I mean, if you were a man, wouldn’t you want to be with someone who takes pleasure in your company rather than be with someone who makes you feel like a chore?  As Christian women, we should always remember that under our husband’s Christian tag is a human tag and God made us human first.  The sin nature has an unhealthy appetite but there is such a thing as human hunger (more on that some other time).

Having trouble celebrating your husband today?  Maybe desire isn’t what it used to be?  Then be encouraged by the study of the Shulamite woman and her ability to find peace.  She was able to sustain her desire for the King by keeping her focus on his strength.  She describes his body as carved ivory, his hands as rods of gold, and his legs as pillars of marble (all of these symbolize great value and strength).  Every man has his own value and strength whether his title is "King" or not. If you ask God to anoint your eyes, you will see your husband’s masculinity as never before and your praise of him will unlock many doors of new desire between you both.  I tell women, “never underestimate the power of attraction” and most people will get up early for something they desire (and even stay up late).  There are perversions and counterfeits to both sides, but it’s only through the connection between masculinity and femininity that people find true fulfillment and peace.

Log on next week and find out more about the Shulamite woman and how to find peace in study #4, "The Fight for Her Sexual Identity".

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

#2 The Importance of Her Self Esteem

Insight Number Two: The Importance of Her Self Esteem

It’s easy to feel insecure in a world that constantly tells you that you’re not enough.  Most women have to battle negative thoughts and feelings about themselves. It’s funny though - most of us never even question where those negative thoughts are coming from. We need to stop and consider where it is that we are getting our information. As Christian women, we have God’s Spirit of truth and acceptance that lives on the inside of us. We can train our ear to listen to what His voice says about us instead of what the world is telling us.

The Shulamite woman seems to have battled thoughts that caused her to doubt and question her value as she compared herself to other women. How many times have we been there? In the first chapter of Song of Solomon, she is apologizing for the color of her skin as if she’s not enough or not as beautiful as all of the other fair skinned women (how funny is that to our generation of tanners?!). It’s interesting though, at the beginning of the very next chapter she is referring to herself as the rose of Sharon and the Lily of the Valleys. It seems that a deeper voice of esteem and assurance took dominion over those insecure thoughts. According to the scholars, she was a poor country girl who worked with her family tending grapes. She would have had every imaginable reason to feel less or lower than the others but her words reveal that she was able to identify herself as something beautiful that she was offering the King.

The Shulamite woman was able to exemplify that being different from everyone else doesn’t make you less it makes you unique. She found favor and acceptance through looking into the eyes of the King instead of comparing herself with everyone else around her. I believe that she decided not to compete for a position that was already hers. You would be surprised at how many women end up there! She was able to withstand the challenge to a power struggle and never gave into the pressure to perform. Again, you’d be surprised at how many women end up there! Her response to the King was with words of the utmost sincerity, honesty and vulnerability. Now, as women, we all need to end up there!

Near the end of the last chapter in Song of Solomon, the Shulamite declares that she had found peace. Her self esteem was the second element that was a part of her finding it. Knowing that we are enough will not only help us win a serious war, it will also keep us from silly little battles that rob us of our time and energy. Next week's insight: #3 Her Attraction to Him!

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

#1 Maturity Will Help Bring Peace

The teaching, “Then I Became in His Eyes as One who Found Peace”, is perspectives from the female point of view from the book: Song of Solomon. I shared some of this teaching a few years ago during a women’s conference at a local church. The teaching was born through a desire for a better relationship  between my husband and I. I have learned that you can be a good Christian, in love with God, and yet still be defeated in your relationships. I was defeated for a very long time in many ways until the Holy Spirit opened my eyes and revealed God’s word to me. There’s power in His word! Every application will bring a positive result. That is what separates the Bible from everything else you will ever read. These insights were life-changing for me and I know they will be for you too!


The Shulamite woman had everything in her life that most women desire. She had the King (which sounds like more than enough) and all of the pleasures of being his bride. Most of all, she had peace, which seems to be the very thing most women are lacking these days.

Seven Areas of Insight from the Study of the Shulamite Woman

Number One: Her Maturity

This might not seem like any information that is life-changing, but you’d be surprised how many little girls are walking around in women’s bodies. I always say, “Little girls are cute and fun to be around but they make horrible wives!” Don’t believe me? Just spend some time talking to a man who’s in a relationship with a grown woman who acts more like a child. Your husband is in need of a mature woman who can handle the pressures of life in the same way that the Shulamite woman was expected to handle the pressure of being married to the King.  Men need a responsible partner and want someone capable of helping them "build".  I’ve talked with many single women in the church who are hoping for a husband. They say to me, “I’m waiting for the King! “, I reply, “That’s great as long as you let God make you into queen material!” Never underestimate the ability of the King to discern the difference between a little princess and a real queen! Little princesses want to BE SERVED, but real queens SERVE.

Women who desire to be in a close relationship with a man need to be aware of every area of defeat in their life, especially areas of immaturity. Most men have a very low tolerance for “child like behavior” in women. Maturity will help bring peace. If you are single and you want to attract the right one, you must become the right one. The peace is in knowing that you’ve done your part so that God can do His. If you are a married woman, the peace is in knowing that you can change your attitude and you will be surprised at what will change after that!

Log on next week for INSIGHT # 2 from the study of the Shulamite Woman:  The Importance of Her Self-Esteem

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina