Number 1: Femininity is Excellent at Securing the Masculine Heart

Woman…God’s Good Thing! An In-depth look into Femininity from the Proverbs 31 Woman

The detailed listing of the Proverbs 31 Woman and all of her attributes begin in verse 11:  The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.   Femininity is excellent at securing the masculine heart.   No other created being has the ability to get as close to the man’s heart like the woman.  Therefore, no other being has the responsibility to the man like the woman.  Probably the greatest issue affecting our society today is a lack of trust and our marriages are no exception.  So we can be sure that trust will be at the top of the list of what men want and need in women.

Now more than ever, men are concerned about money and many will be more likely to work toward spending wisely when they feel that their wives are on board too.  Men are naturally inclined to want to have something to show for all their hard work and they are more motivated by what they can provide for their family than what most women think.  There will always be exceptions, but for the most part, wives have more influence than what they realize when it comes to helping husbands get or stay motivated in managing money.  Something to remember is that masculinity hates to deny femininity anything (it makes him feel like a man) so women should not only set a limit on what they are spending but on what they are asking as well.  Even though most households have both the husband and wife bringing income in, he still needs to know that he can trust you with what’s going out.

Another important issue of trust in marriage is sex.  There are many sexual avenues that a man could travel down but only one that doesn’t lead him to a place of shame.  A husband needs a wife who offers a loyal and secure bed.  One of the most difficult things to get women to understand is their God-given ability to strengthen their sexual union with their husband and how important it is to do so.  Most men just want a secure relationship where they can be free and enjoy their life.  Husbands will entrust their heart to wives who have secured the bedroom in loyalty allowing them a place of fulfillment without any guilt.

A woman who is concerned with securing her husband’s heart is like the Proverb 31 Woman, abounding in femininity and definitely …A Good Thing!  Log on next week for the continued study of Woman…God’s Good Thing.

Loving U like A Sister,

Regina

Woman... God's Good Thing! - Introduction

Woman…God’s Good Thing

An In-depth Look into Femininity from Proverbs 31

Ever noticed how “it’s a boy” or ‘it’s a girl” seems to have lost its distinctiveness?  Not too long ago, there was a certain expectation that seem to accompany one’s sex.  Do you know what I mean?  There was a celebration over the specific sex of that child being born and an understanding as to what that new person would offer in their role to the family and society.  A boy would be celebrated as one who would bring strength and leadership.  He would carry the family name into future generations.  A girl would be celebrated as one who would bring beauty and nurturing.  She would be the one who would carry life in her very own body into future generations.

Oh that we could get back to the celebration of masculinity and femininity!  The gifting and ability that has been given to both sexes should be looked into with much appreciation, wonderment, and respect.  God has never once changed His idea of what is to be expected from His creation.  A little boy will grow up to be a man and God will hold him accountable according to His design and expectation for him.  A little girl will grow up and become a woman and God will hold her accountable to His design and expectation for her.  He places a high value on both male and female but has a required role for both of His design.

One thing that’s quite clear these days is that there is a lot of confusion as to what the design and role of a woman is.  The image of femininity has been somewhat distorted over time and our role models seem to be disappearing at an alarming rate.  There’s confusion in both the home and church as to what is the God given role for a woman.  Women want to know where the boundaries are and where would be crossing the line?  In just the last century alone the boundary for women was moved so many times that now we’re not sure where to stand.  Everything has been argued (without clarity or remedy) from women working outside the home to the length of our sleeve and the hem of our dress.  Yet still, most women try to fit into a mold of something we’ve heard or seen that looks or feels like it might be accepted.

So where is our help and where is our understanding?  As in everything else, it’s in the Lord who made the heavens and earth and all that is in it (yes, women too). The Bible is the complete authority and reference to what God had in mind when He made a woman. Femininity has its own personality, excellence, and skill.  Before we begin the next segment, look into the mirror and see “the woman” and understand that this is your identity.  Your identity is not what you do it’s what you are.  I will use myself as an example:  “I am a woman who happens to be a minister”, not “a minister who happens to be a woman.”  My identity is that I’m a woman.  My greatest fulfillment and pleasures in life will come from the things pertaining to women not ministers.  Therefore, occupying the earth will be centered on the fact that I am A Woman… Log on in two days as we begin our look into the life of the Proverb 31 Woman.

Loving U like a Sister,

Regina

Woman... God's Good Thing!

I would like to thank everyone for their comments and the wonderful response to the study of the Shulamite.  It is always encouraging to hear from you.  I would also like to let everyone know that our new website for women will be finished soon!  I know that this will be especially encouraging for those of you who left private messages and prayer requests because the website will not only offer great resources to help women in their Christian walk but will be a place for prayer requests as well.  It is always a good thing when we can find a place of agreement in prayer.  In a world where women are hurting and suffering in so many ways please note:  we are honored to pray for you and are in agreement with what God’s word says for your life.

I would like to invite everyone to log on next week for the beginning of a new teaching series... "Woman… God’s Good Thing".  The word of God says that a man who gets a wife gets a good thing.  To tell you the truth, not only was I curious about what God himself would call a good thing, I was surprised at how much I really wanted to be one.  It is amazing how much we can learn about our feminine nature when we let down the guard and let the Holy Spirit show us what’s hidden on the inside.  Deeply hidden on the inside of me was a woman who wanted better and wanted to do better.  I have also found that no man in his right mind can resist a good thing!

Women’s lives have changed so much down through the centuries but God’s word still retains its meaning and is in every way applicable today. I can assure you that masculinity is still very much captivated and somewhat intoxicated by femininity.  There are some counterfeits out there that try and mimic femininity or imitate it.  I always say, "You can doll it up to look like a woman but what makes us women is God given and it goes way down deep past the skin and bone."  You can shave its legs and put a wig on it, but being a woman is more than smooth legs and fixed hair (although the men really appreciate us for doing so lol!).  Femininity is in the very depth of our soul and spirit.  It’s more than the way we walk and more than just the way we talk.

God knew what He was doing when He made a woman and He declares us a good thing.  Maybe you are not convinced of that or maybe you are curious as to the details of what God would call a good thing.  Perhaps you want to have something better or you are looking to become something better.  It will always begin with the word of God.  Read Proverbs Chapter 31 this week.  From this teaching series in this one little chapter of the Bible, you will see what men want and need in women.  You will have a better understanding of what women find rewarding and fulfilling.  You will see what God values and praises in women.  You will see the blessings that accompany balance and order and so much more.  You will see that the Proverb 31 Woman was a good thing and you are probably more like her than you think.  So log back on soon and check out …Woman… God’s Good Thing!

Loving U Like a Sister,
 
Regina

I'm Glad that God Uses Weak Things!

Have you ever asked God to change your nature into something that’s a little easier for you to deal with?

Through the years, God has changed many things in my life.  He has given back and restored many things that were broken, lost or stolen in my past years of sin.  He has healed many relationships in my life especially the ones that were needed mostly (my relationship with my husband and father).  He has changed my attitude, outlook and desires.  He has given me faith and several opportunities to build upon it.  He has given me the land and so many times, He has personally chosen to give me the morning (the newness that only He can bring).  Yet in all these things, I have not convinced Him to change my nature.  This person in me, or this personality that I carry around, is just not impressive.  Oh the times I thought that if I could convince God to let me be another or let me trade personalities with another, then I would have it made and life would be so much easier.  All my insecurities would be gone!

There is a major problem with the idea of trading natures though...  If God were to speak today and give me permission to trade with someone else, which one would I choose?  Finding someone who has no personality flaws would be tough.  Where could I find someone who has no weakness in his or her flesh?  Is there anyone out there who is completely confident and proficient in every area of their life?  I have been searching for a while but I’ve found none.  It seems we all have a weakness.  Some people are just better at covering up more than others.  I have lived long enough to know that you can train your responses to be acceptable in front of others but all of us have something in our “natural blood” to contend with.

One thing you can be sure of today is that God does care about you and the weakness in your flesh.  He may not ever change it because it may be the very thing that keeps you depending on His Strength.  He doesn’t leave it there to torment you.  God uses weak places to show Himself strong.  The only people who are ever defeated by personal weaknesses are the ones who refuse to give them over to God.  He has proved over and over again that His grace is sufficient for all of us.  I was reading a book by Robert A. Schuller a few days ago and I couldn’t help but laugh at his detailed listing of the people in the Bible.  He started out with Noah was a drunk, Abraham was too old, Isaac was a daydreamer, Jacob was a liar, Joseph was abused, Moses stuttered, Gideon was afraid and I’m sure you get the point of his list!

My point today is don’t let the weakness in you be your excuse for not trying and stop thinking that you are the only one.  Don’t waste time wishing you were someone else.  They too have a weakness.  Give everything that is in you to GOD.  He can use you and when it comes to your weakness, He will most likely use IT too!

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

#7 Her Responsibility to the Younger Generation

# 7:  Her Responsibility to the Younger Generation - the final segment in the study of the Shulamite woman from the series "Then I Became in His Eyes as One Who Found Peace"


In our nation, we see many examples of people being blessed to be a blessing.  Celebrities give out of their wealth.  Social clubs and colleges are routinely involved with humanitarian work.  I’ve even seen people living here from other countries send back assistance to help family and friends reach selective goals in business or education.  Many of us have caught on to the idea that when we find ourselves in a better place, we should help someone else.  For the church though, our outreach should exceed the work of the average helping hand.  Christians have a responsibility not only to reach out, but also to help carry the Gospel to every nation while living a life of enticement that will inspire future generations.

In Song of Solomon, It seemed that the Shulamite woman understood her responsibility to the next generation.  Her role as Queen was an opportunity for influence and favor given to her by God.  It’s interesting and inspiring how she used her position to instruct the young women who ran after her.  She was careful to help them understand her success.  The Shulamite woman not only made it to a better place but she wanted to teach other women how to make it as well.  You would be surprised at how many successful businesses and ministries have been built on these same desires.

Today, there are many offers on the table for women.  The world is offering promises and rewards from many different products in many different ways.  As women, we are more likely to be targeted by manufacturers than men.  They understand that a lot of women are not only desperate for change but they are more than willing to pay for it.  Unfortunately though, most of what the world is selling women is a farce and the end result will probably be pain.  God’s offer is and shall remain the best on the table.  He offers truth with an end result of peace.  The Shulamite woman found peace.  She put all of the elements of virtue and godliness together and found lasting peace.

If you are searching for a better result than what you keep getting then it’s time to make a change.  If what you are applying is not bringing a return of peace then it’s time to apply a new principle.  Sometimes we blame a bad harvest on the ground and never check into the kind of seed that we are sowing.  Only the word of God has power in every principle, that when applied, can and will bring a positive change.  God’s word works!  For the women who said amen to that last sentence, what are you doing right now to help the younger generation?  Let me challenge you to make it a priority today to tell a young woman about the love of Jesus Christ and the peace that is genuinely found in GOD.

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

#6 Her Understanding of True Love

#6  Her Understanding of True Love - the continued study of the Shulamite woman from the series "Then I Became in His Eyes as One Who Found Peace"

I am convinced that at least half, if not more than half, of the world is clueless to the meaning of true love.  We have piles of love songs, poems, books and movies that portray the romantic notions of love, but very few icons where its depth and true meaning are clearly seen or defined.  This is a sad truth because if we live in a society that only understands love in the concept of romantic feelings then we are all in trouble.  Young men and women who don’t understand the difference between emotion and devotion will never have any quality relationships.  These young men and women I am referring to could easily end up being our children and grandchildren.

One of the most admonishing passages to young women from Song of Solomon is the words of the Shulamite woman: “His banner over me was love”.  She was fully convinced of the king’s love for her.  Not only could she identify it, but she obviously knew the importance of pointing it out to the younger women who were following her example.  She understood the value that the king had placed on her by making her his bride.  His banner over her was obvious and identifiable by the engagement and ceremony as well as the wedding night.  His banner over her was love, not lust.  The Shulamite was able to return and validate the King’s desire for her because of her knowledge and proof of his banner.  No woman should ever accept a man’s desire for her without it being inside the boundary of true love.

A man’s desire for a woman without the shelter of love can easily end up in disaster.  Desire alone has the potential to rob, devour and devastate a woman.  God gave men a STRONG desire for women but He only gave it legal access under the banner of love.  Why?  Because God knew that a man acting within his desire wouldn’t be much more than a taker but, in love, he would want to protect and give to her as well.  What a brilliant God!  Pretty good set up if you ask me. 

God never intended on women being used or abused and there are certainly women who have ended up in both situations unaware and unintentionally. Truthfully though, we all know of someone (maybe even us) who decided to go into a relationship without checking or even acknowledging what his banner over them (or us) really was.  It is not as difficult as we sometimes make it out to be.  Identifying the banner can be as simple as asking a few good questions.  Is there a ring or a wedding date?  What is his banner over you, love or something else?  I have learned that women who understand true love will not settle for anything less, but women who lack understanding will settle for just being desired time and time again.  Be smart and remain in peace like the Shulamite woman...  His banner over her was love.  She understood and so should you.

Log on next week for the final study of the Shulamite woman and how to find peace in  #7, "Her Responsibility to the Younger Generation".

Loving U like A sister,

Regina

#5 Her Respect of Jealousy

#5 Her Respect of Jealousy - the continued study of the Shulamite woman from the series "Then I Became in His Eyes as One Who Found Peace"

Her words, “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave; its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame”…… The Shulamite woman understood the anguish and passion of jealousy.  She understood that there would be enticements that would pull for the king’s affection.  She also understood that there would be distractions that would pull for his time.  It’s interesting though, she never gave up her right to feel protective over their relationship.  Her request for the king’s devotion and commitment to her wasn’t childish or brazen. Her desire seems to be more in line with what God requires in His relationships from all of us.

In the Bible, we learn of God’s character, standard, and will.  He proclaims that He is a jealous God. He is mindful of worldly competition and expects our complete attachment and devotion to Him.  God is Holy and has neither thought nor action that is in any way evil or carnal.  Yet, He is jealous over our relationship with Him.  So as a wife, we too can have a proper respect for jealousy that is not based on anything hateful or insecure but on protectiveness and wisdom.

The Shulamite woman had a respect for jealousy that she used to her advantage.  She understood that the closer she got to the king, the better the relationship would be.  Intimacy in marriage is a major defense against many enemies.  Because of jealousy, she was vigilant and fervent to do everything in her power to stay on his mind and in his heart (I could give you a lot of good suggestions here, but I'll let you use your own imagination!).  Back in her time, the seal was a symbol of her being his possession.  She loved the idea of completely belonging to him!  We have come a long way, haven’t we?  Have we?  lol!

So, these days, wives contend with husbands who have business opportunities, ministry opportunities, recreational opportunities, and many, many other opportunities!  Some of these opportunities have the potential to defraud the wife (and the entire family, for that matter) in one way or another (I'm only speaking balance, not restriction).  What’s a girl to do?  Harden your heart and say, "why bother"?  Silence will probably cost you more in the long run.  Many women in their later days spew out poison from what was held back in their former days.  Just being quiet about something and being at peace with something is not the same thing.  Pretending not to be bothered will show up again in the form of bitterness and hate when you least expect it.

The Shulamite woman found peace through speaking her heart to her husband and voicing her jealousy. She not only voiced her concern with jealousy but she respected it enough to let it motivate her toward working on a closer relationship with him.  Maybe you too could benefit from identifying how you feel about jealousy.  You don’t have to drown in it to respect it.  It could be a great tool to help you become an even greater wife.   Believe it or not, it could be one of the key factors hidden in your marriage that helps bring peace.

Log on next week and find out more about the Shulamite woman and how to find peace in study #6, "Her Understanding of True Love".

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina