Look a Little Deeper

A few years ago, a friend of mine was having a lot of trouble with an infection under her arm.  The doctor decided to make an incision that would speed up the healing time.  Well, what was supposed to be simple and routine, ended up being more serious and took forever.  After her ordeal was over, she and I had a discussion on the matter...  She said, “You would not believe what was in my arm… the doctor just kept pulling stuff out!”  She asked the doctor how all of that  "stuff" could have been in her arm!  The doctor explained that over a period of time, the infection had tunneled very deeply and that’s why it was taking so long to heal.  As we discussed it further, I started thinking of all the similarities between her arm and my Spiritual heart.

I often tell the church, “I have been on this journey for some time now and I am still amazed at the mess that God keeps pulling out of my heart.”  My reaction to Him is much like my friend’s reaction to her doctor; “That was in there all the time?  And, did all of that come out of there?”  I mean, just when I think that my heart has been completely revealed, God allows an encounter with the right kind of pull and pressure that causes some more stuff to manifest!  Oh the times that I’ve tried to blame my difficulties on certain people and certain encounters instead of admitting that if there was nothing ugly in my heart then the encounter couldn’t draw it out!  Do you know what I mean?  Being easily drawn or easily provoked in any way will have more to do with what’s going on inside you instead of what’s going on between you and others.

We cannot blame others for our lack of self-control, immaturity issues, lust, anger, jealousy…  Need I go on?   Instead of getting upset with others that seem to have personalities that draw you, provoke you, or really get your goat - thank God for allowing what was hidden in you to be revealed.  Without His help that stuff might sit there undetected, tunneling deeper and deeper.   After all, it is what’s in our heart that defiles us and it never hurts to look a little deeper.

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

God Knows Perfectly!

Because of the fact that I can carry a tune, I have often been counseled and somewhat commanded by others in the church to: join the choir; lead Praise and Worship; sing at weddings and funerals, etc., etc. ... And there have been many times that I have been accused of false humility all because of refusing to call myself “a singer.”  It’s not that I mind singing but my range is somewhere around b minor and so because of this I refer to myself as a worshipper… not a singer!  If you have no range you cannot sing along with most people and sometimes it’s difficult to even get through a song without your voice cracking from the strain.  Had things been different, I would have gladly began an awesome music ministry (or maybe took the road to Nashville) a very long time ago. Lol! …

Along my journey, I have met many people who thought that they knew better what I should do, how I should do it, and who I should do it for.  And humorously enough, it was usually them that they were convinced that I should be doing it for.  I have never met a human being that I thought would make a very good God.  Another thing that has been interesting is that there have been numerous people along my journey that have scorned, tried to shame, and did their best to change me from being talkative.  The reason that this is funny is because it’s the very thing in my personality that God uses; not only as a speaker in church but also in casual settings where my willingness to communicate (lol) enables me to reach out to other women, helping them to feel acknowledged, accepted and comfortable.

God has a unique plan for all of us and His plan always matches His design.  His design (you) always matches His plan.  We don’t have to force ourselves into the shape or mold that someone else demands from us.  God planned our personality and matched it perfectly with our destiny.  He knows how and where He wants to use each of us.  If man was capable of calling, equipping and figuring out every detail of our life, we would have no need for the Holy Spirit.  Of course, I believe in friendship, partnership and mentorship and the accountability that it offers, but I have lived long enough to know that when it comes to the author and finisher of my faith…there is One who knows better than anyone else… my Lord.

Loving U like a Sister,
 
Regina

Who Wants to Fight?

Salvation is free but gaining new territory will cost you something.  Many Christians quote the Prayer of Jabez from 1 Chronicles.  They can make it sound eloquent, easy and even romantic, as they proclaim; “Bless me, bless me indeed and enlarge my territory.”  Not to take anything away from God’s Word or its recital but we must understand, “not without a good fight!”

Back in those days, God not only allowed but He ordered many of the battles that His people faced.  Through fighting they gained favor, possessions, and territory (and sometimes it was just access to the path across).  Their knowledge of God and their dependence on Him increased with every rival.  How did they keep their peace in the middle of major conflict?  How were they able to maintain a feeling of security with the constant threat of an enemy?  In the same way that you and I can today; they were made fully aware of God’s good intention for them and His promise that they would prevail!  The word reached them and they chose to believe.

So is being a Christian all about conflict, battles and fighting?  Of course not!  Our daily walk with God can be paralleled to the many books of the Bible...  Some days we are like the psalmist singing songs and making melodies from our heart.  Some days are filled with passion and deep emotion like the words in Song of Solomon.  Some days are like Leviticus, Proverbs, and Paul’s writings; filled with instruction, letter and law.  Like everyone else on this earth -  we love, we live, we laugh, we cry and we grow...  But as Christians, we do have an enemy and as long as we live down here, we will have battles.

If we want to grow then we will have to fight for the new ground and sometimes we will have to fight just to keep what God has already given.  Who wants to fight?  Not me! But I have and I will because I have found peace in the promises of God.  Bless me, bless me indeed and enlarge my territory.  Yes, I am willing to stand, face and fight! God has spoken, it is written and I believe.  I  am going to win!

Loving U Like a Sister,
 
Regina

Jacob's Story

From the Series, "Between Two Women"

Jacob is where we will end "Between Two Women."  He was the one that all of the women in this story rallied around.  Rachel didn’t seem to put up a fight over marrying him even though he had already been with her sister.  Leah once bargained with Rachel offering her some special mandrakes (some kind of plant used back then for medicinal/fertility purposes) for a night alone with him.  And neither Bilhah nor Zilpah seemed very eager to leave the awkward "let’s all share him" family circle.  Doesn’t that sound outrageous to all of us?  I mean, what woman with any pride would put up with such a crazy mess?  Lol!  Hmm…  I could tell you many stories about women from today’s generation and their ridiculous behavior over a man that is just as outrageous as these four! 


What was so special about Jacob anyway?  Why would all these women agree to such a defrauding environment?  Could it be that these women found satisfaction in what Jacob could provide for each of them individually?  Rachel was her daddy’s favorite, so in order to leave, she needed a man who could outshine her father and Jacob obviously didn’t disappoint in the "shine" department.  Leah was rejected by their father so she needed to be with a man who could offer her some much needed affirmation (many women seem to find some kind of validation through a sexual union with someone they consider to be elevated).  Jacob stood out and was thought of as "special" by all of the people around him; so for Leah, getting to be his wife made her feel special too.  Bilhah and Zilpah needed refuge and a future for the children that they wanted to bear; Jacob provided both.

As Christians, of course we don’t practice nor do we condone polygamy but I do believe that women can learn a lot from this study of a "less than perfect" family:  Our attraction to man can be more about our greatest need rather than our greatest wisdom.  Sometimes, our greatest fear can outweigh our greatest pride.  Our greatest love will always come from God above.  And, we have a great promise in life but generally can only find it by what we are willing to sacrifice. 

 God was able to give them a good return on what they were willing to surrender.  He had a plan for each of them and was able to bring something good out of their heartache and misery.  What was really between them was an opportunity to reach for God and rise above their situation.  He became everything they needed and He stood in place of everything that was lacking.  God caused man to do everything that he could do and God did everything else that man couldn’t do.  Between Two Women was a good place to find desperation, trouble and some people at their worst but it was also the place that God used to show His sovereignty, kindness and His great love.

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

Bilhah and Zilpah's Story

From the Series, "Between Two Women"

Even though they are often overlooked, Bilhah and Zilpah were two very important women in the Bible.  They were the other mothers of the twelve tribes of Israel and that fact alone should place them in high regard.  So why is it that they don’t seem to get the recognition that Rachel and Leah do?  In my opinion: it’s because they were not from a significant (family) bloodline and were not legal wives only concubines.  It’s sometimes difficult to understand bloodline promises and the privileges of wives versus concubines from the biblical standpoint.  It is also difficult to understand Middle Eastern culture from so long ago…  Back then, legal wives had a position of honor, rights and respect.  Concubines had their basic needs met but they had no public esteem and no legal right to anything (the law protected them from being thrown out onto the street and that was about it).

Millions of women from all over the world are born into similar circumstances, like these two, where they feel powerless or helpless to change things.  That’s why it is so important to support the outreach of the Gospel of Jesus Christ beyond our local churches.  Our God is a freeing God to every woman from every nation.  Although Bilhah and Zilpah were called maids, they were basically slave girls who worked for their mistress (owner).  They were both given to the husband of their owners to have his babies.  In those days, maids could bear these children and hand them over because according to the law and custom anyone born in the house was considered property of the mistress.  We have no way of really knowing how they each felt about this situation.  There is a similar story from an earlier time between Abraham and his wife’s maid, Hagar, where it seemed she was proud that she had given birth to his child.  But I’m sure that she wasn’t so proud on the day that she and her child were both sent away almost empty handed.

I can’t speak for Bilhah and Zilpah personally but I can tell you that a normal woman would want to be given a place of value and treated like she was somebody, no matter where she came from.  No woman in her right mind would want to give her body to be used to provide a service instead of being in a relationship where she is deeply loved and cared for.  But sadly, Bilhah and Zilpah weren’t born with the same opportunities as Rachel and Leah.  Somehow, someone failed to protect them and offer them a secure future or else they would have never ended up as maids for mistresses.  One thing that is great about this story though, is that their sons were given what they never had!  They were given an inheritance with the rest of Jacobs’s offspring.  Normally, sons from concubines weren’t considered heirs.  Bilhah and Zilpah were smart enough to understand the rights and privileges of adoption.  They knew that handing them over to Rachel and Leah would ensure the father’s blessing over their sons.  Between these two women was a pitiful beginning but a much better ending for their children -  all because of their choices based on the ending result instead of an emotional now.  Wow!  God grant all of us that kind of wisdom!!

Next week...  Jacob.

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

Rachel's Story

From the Series, "Between Two Women"

Oh to be born Rachel... Beautiful eyes, beautiful figure and I imagine a beautiful smile!  I say beautiful smile because it’s easy to smile when everyone in your world treats you like you are something special.  You can tell that Rachel’s father knew that she was a valuable girl, thinking he could use her as a bargaining tool to get more work out of Jacob… and he did.  We can easily determine that Leah was probably very jealous of the way that Rachel was treated by the men in their family.  How many of us have known of a situation where a woman is chosen not because of her “good works” but because of her “good looks?”  I’m sure we have all seen it at one time or another. But aren’t you glad that God’s love for us isn’t tainted by the way we look?  God is never impressed with outward appearance and His attachment to us will always be based on a love that goes much deeper than our skin.  Don’t you wish that more men had that kind of depth and character?  Well either way, one thing that I can surely minister to you today is that whether you are born a Leah or a Rachel, you still need God!

Man’s acceptance and approval surely feels good to us but it is a very weak substitute for faith.  When it comes down to the big issues in life, we are going to need the help of someone much bigger than man.  The biggest stumbling block in Rachel’s life was the one thing that most women want desperately. Because of the favor and acceptance that she had with man, Rachel didn’t know how to go to a higher power.  When she couldn’t conceive a child, she sought the help of her maid and not God.   Instead of praying, she cried out to her husband thinking that he could fix her!  And when they finally left out on their journey, she stole the little fake gods from her father’s house that he worshipped (small wooden statues)?!  Even though Rachel was desperate it seems that she had no earthly idea who it was that could really help her.  I’m thinking that she should have paid more attention to the names that were given to Leah’s sons…  Reuben (behold, God sees); Simeon (He has heard); Levi (attached to the Lord); Judah (let God be praised); Issachar (God's reward); and Zebulun (dwelling of honor)!

Rachel had a good start in life but no promise of one without any problems.  Just because a woman  looks like she has everything, doesn’t mean that she does!  You wouldn’t have to take too many steps in her shoes to figure that out.  No woman will be exempt from issues or pain in this life and a deeper look into that wisdom is a cure for much jealousy and envy.  It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that some women have it made or that maybe their life is easier or better.  Every woman will have something to contend with and each of us will have something to overcome.  A good ending will be all about who we decide to serve and make our God (remember there’s only one, the great I AM). Rachel did eventually seek and find the one true God and as He did with Leah, He heard from heaven and gave her children as well - two sons!  She died giving birth the second time (sad) but in that sadness, she did leave a legacy that lives on today.   Rachel’s agony over the state of her children is mentioned in the New Testament during the time that King Herod was seeking and attempting to kill Jesus.  We are reminded that on her deathbed, Rachel left mothers everywhere a message:  it is God who we can cry out to and He will hear, help and save.  God’s love for Rachel was purer, greater and more beneficial to her than that of any man.  How sad that it took her so long to figure it out.  But I’m thinking, better late than never… Next week, Bilhah and Zilpah… Between Two Women.

Loving U Like a Sister,
 
Regina

Leah's Story

From the Series, "Between Two Women"

Poor, pitiful and weak-eyed Leah...  Her dad sure didn’t think much of her...  I mean, how many of us had a dad who thought so little of us that he had to trick a man into marrying us?  How was her husband supposed to respond to her after that kind of deception?  Leah was more of a burden and obligation to Jacob than someone that he chose (sad).   Remember, he was in hot pursuit of the beautiful and eye-catching Rachel.  Not her...  Imagine how Leah must have felt on her wedding night knowing that she wasn’t the one that he really wanted and then imagine the week they had to spend together closed in from all the others.  Through the years, I have talked with women who seem to think that they know exactly how she felt.  In some very private conversations, a few women have made statements to me like, “my husband doesn’t love me, he just uses my body.”  This is not a confession or prayer request that you will hear in the morning church service (smile).  That’s why the Journey ministry is so important.  It is a place where women can find answers and help for intimate problems and questions that have the potential to bring unnecessary exposure and shame if presented anywhere else.  God will always hear a sincere prayer and He will always offer help to every woman who seeks him in truth.

Back to the story… so Leah finds herself stuck in a relationship with a man who offers her no friendship, intimacy or love.  But our God, who can do anything, looked down from heaven and saw everything.  He saw that Leah was unloved, unappreciated and in a lot of ways, ignored.  So He decided to level the playing field.  God caused Leah to give Jacob sons.  Now, you must understand that back in those days, this placed Leah in high demand and honor.  Ooh! Her sister was so envious and mad!  Giving birth to sons placed the highest value possible on a woman, whether she had gorgeous eyes or not (lol) and Rachel knew it.  Funny how God can flip a thing!  God gave Leah help and hope for a long future with her husband Jacob.  Leah never failed to recognize who it was that was helping her and her praise of God went into the very naming of her children.  Women who want to be given something better or a "better hand in life" can learn a lot from Leah:  never fail to give or leave a testimony when God decides to move on your behalf and give you help or favor and never pass up an opportunity to let the next generation know that out of every mess, IT WAS GOD!

So, God gave back to Leah her place of value that was lost in the beginning but what about friendship and love?  It’s in the story as well.  Some people seem to overlook the concept that in order for Leah to keep getting pregnant time and time again, Jacob had to keep returning to her time and time again.  Once Jacob saw that Leah could conceive he routinely spent time with her.  At that time Jacob had access to both Leah and Rachel but he obviously wasn’t ignoring Leah.  Women need to know that it is nearly impossible for a man to be repeatedly and routinely making love to a woman and not feel any affection for her.  Even though Jacob may have never felt the same passion for Leah that he did for Rachel, there had to be a bond built between them.  We know that Rachel died giving birth on their journey, so she didn't get to be buried with the rest of the family on the ground that Abraham had purchased years before.  It was Leah who not only got to grow old with Jacob but she also was the one who got to be buried with her husband in the family cemetery (I know what you’re thinking, but trust me, back in those days it was an honor).  So for Leah, the ending of this thing was better than its beginning… God looked down and saw that Leah was unloved and HE DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Log on next week to find out more about Rachel... 

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina