Number 7: Femininity’s Creator and Helper is God

Woman… God’s Good Thing! An In-depth look into Femininity from the Proverbs 31 Woman

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Most women catch on early in life that there is definitely a sensual part of us that will (usually) “move” even the wisest man.  The world tends to think that Christian women aren’t in touch with things like sensuality.  It’s not that we are not in touch, it’s just that most of us understand the concept: use it, don’t abuse it!  We can do sexy, but we choose to keep it between us and our husbands and don’t feel the need to exploit it or wear it on our sleeves.  As for performing for the men, it’s not that we don’t know how… it’s just that we know better!  We also know the answer to the question, to what avail and to what profit is any favor that is relinquished to you based on your sensuality?  If you act to gain their favor then you must keep on acting to keep it and you will miss out on every part of you that is authentic and real.  Also worth considering, the performance can get old quickly to most men and trying to keep up with it all will eventually become exhausting to you.  Performing for the world while you ignore His commandments is an unspoken message to God that your fear and reverence is more toward man than Him.

It’s not that women don’t need the favor of man, we most certainly do (not everyone just the right one).  Every successful woman that is mentioned in the Bible had the help and favor of some man.  Those listed as having found favor with man also were noted for their fear of God.  There are others that were noted for making their own way but their ending was not anything that would entice you to imitate them.  There were women who performed to gain favor and there were women who prayed and trusted God to give them favor.  You might ask, "What’s the difference?"  Well, one of the differences is this; if you follow God and wait on Him to give you favor then you will also have His help with timing.  God not only knows where you need to be but He also knows when you need to be there.  Because this is the beginning of a New Year, you will probably hear a lot of messages about vision and while vision is important, please be mindful of timing.  Performance driven lives are almost never in sequence with what God is doing.  But women who fear God are led by His Spirit and always seem to be in the right place at the right time.

As women, we will probably always care about man’s opinion to some degree and will sometimes be tempted to perform for their help or approval.  After all, we are the glory of man and it’s hard not to desire their acceptance.  As Christian women though, we must understand who it is that is the greatest and who it is that offers us the greatest reward.  God will give honor to the women who fear Him and He will give favor to all of those who hold His word in high regard.  The blessing of the Lord is not one that man can assign nor can he withhold.  Our God is a great God and is in charge of favor, woman and man. He will help us because we are the creation of His hands.  Give us of the fruit of our hands and let our own works praise us in the gates.  We are women…God’s good thing!

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

Number 6: Femininity Has an Instinct for Balance and Order

Woman… God’s Good Thing! An In-depth look into Femininity from the Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 woman watched over the ways of her household and did not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arose and called her blessed; her husband also, and he praised her.

Women were designed to produce and are miserable when they are not.  It doesn't have to be a "baby", we just want and need to be a part of something that we can feel good about.  Production has a lot to do with career choices and can be a part of the reason why married women sometimes go in search of a job.  Now I know that you might say, "Maybe it's because she needs the money".  In some cases, that's definitely true.  Most households could benefit from more income, but never underestimate the power of personal satisfaction that is gained by the production that her job offers.  For the woman with the family though, she could very well end up in a major struggle for time, balance and order.   God understands all of this and gave femininity a nature that draws her toward balance and order and His Word can be completely trusted as her guide.

Purposely prioritizing your day (or your life for that matter) in agreement with God’s word, will be one of the wisest decisions you will ever make.  Choosing to ignore the order given in God’s word will always be a set up for failure.  It may not look like failure to the world but women who ignore their responsibility to their children and husband will certainly not like the ending result.  Note the women who strive to keep intimacy with God, their husband and children.  They are the women who have less chaos, confusion, and yes, infidelity in their life.  Today, women are much busier than they’ve ever been but I’m not sure that their production is at its best.  Sometimes where we choose to produce can end up being a time thief more than a place where we are actually producing.

I can tell you that I have many women friends who are stay-at-home moms who have a full day of production.  I also have many women friends who have a family and a job who seem to stay in a healthy balance.  Of course, I do know some on both sides who have neither.  Balance and order in our life has nothing to do with a career choice but a lot to do with devotion and even more to do with peace of mind.  Femininity is instinctive at keeping things in order.  We have a natural and spiritual ability given to us by God that causes us to think about Him, our family, and how to prioritize it all.  Women that have learned how to produce (whatever or wherever) with their family getting their fair share of time have achieved the real success.  Wives who have prioritized their daily routine, with their husband not feeling left out at the end of the day, are women who understand more than just a few things about life.  If the Proverbs 31 woman could accomplish all that she did and still remained watchful over her household, she not only understood balance and order... She mastered it.

The Proverbs 31 woman was very busy, but not too busy, to look after her own household.  The instinct for order and balance is in every woman.  Never override that voice inside your heart that is helping you make decisions based on what will give you peace of mind.  Production is a good thing!  Production with balance and order is an even better thing.  Log on next week for the final segment in the study of Woman... God's Good Thing.

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

Number 5: Femininity Can Reflect Even the Smallest Ray of Light

Woman… God’s Good Thing!  An In-depth look into Femininity from the Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 woman’s husband was known in the gates as he set among the elders.  Funny... You may wonder what does that have to do with her?  Well, you would probably be surprised at how much a wife is looked at when a husband is being considered for a position in a high place.  Sitting with the elders in the gates was high positioning back in those days.  It’s where business was handled and many political affairs were decided.  Though most of us will not have to deal with the public eye when we consider accepting a marriage proposal, we should still understand that we are a reflection of our husband even in the smallest arena.  Even family members will take notice to how a woman responds concerning her husband in his presence and when he’s not around.  A man’s character, devotion and behavior can easily be seen through his wife.  Therefore, everything in her demeanor will be a reflection of him.

One might ask, “Doesn’t then the responsibility rely on the husband’s behavior”?  Yes, somewhat, but please consider this: Choosing to reflect the positive about one’s relationship will always be a celebration of light and godly character.  A wife can choose to dwell in the rays of good things that the husband reflects to her (no matter how small or few they are) or she can choose to dwell in the darkness of everything that he does wrong.  She could ridicule and remind everyone of his human failures or she could focus her attention to what he’s doing right.  So then as wives, we have a choice to either magnify his strength or expose his weakness.  I’m sure that you have lived long enough to know that men and women surely have both!

Trust me...  Choosing to constantly complain about your husband’s infirmity, especially in front of others, will never get you out of those dark places.  Not only will he eventually despise you, others will too.  Other people certainly take notice of women who seem to magnify their husband’s weaknesses everywhere they go.  They understand that these women are looking for some kind of approval or affirmation that they are the "good one".  Instead of sympathy, she will get disdain.  No man or woman would want to be slandered by their own spouse so most of us have a low tolerance for others that do so.  Our spouse should be the very person in our life that decides purposely to reveal our good nature to others while giving us the safety and room to grow and come up higher (Special note: taking his weakness to God in prayer is a much better option).

The Proverbs 31 woman understood her obligation to her husband’s reputation.  She chose to reflect his goodness and light so that both of them were accepted by all.  Femininity can reflect even the smallest light in masculinity.  A woman doesn’t have to (it’s a choice), but doing so would be a very wise and good thing.  Log on next week for the continued study of Woman... God's Good Thing.

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

Number 4: Femininity is ALWAYS Beautiful

Woman…God’s Good Thing! An In-depth look into Femininity from the Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 woman made tapestry for herself.  Her clothing was made with fine linen and purple (very expensive material back in her day).  Some people will try and tell you that women are more vain today than they used to be.  But women have always cared about their appearance and we always will.  Whether it’s putting on beautiful clothing or doing something new with our hair, it’s just a way of saying, “I enjoy being a girl”.  There seems to be some misconception too, that God is against women that “adorn themselves” but everything that the Proverbs 31 woman did was praised by Him (primping too) and precisely placed in His word!  The problem is not that God doesn’t appreciate beauty in women, it’s that the world doesn’t appreciate the divine beauty in every detail of femininity. Truthfully, a woman who takes time to care about the way she looks is celebrating her femininity.  She is saying “I’m happy about being a woman”.

God never intended that a woman’s body be worshipped but He did intend that man take notice.  He never intended that women hate themselves because they don’t fit into the world’s image of beauty.  He intended that we have an understanding of what feminine beauty is.  Femininity is and will always be beautiful by what God desired to see when He looked our way.  What the world tries to push on women isn’t beauty at all.  It’s a false sense of identity to keep us feeling inadequate so that we remain vulnerable to all sorts of prey.  The definition of beauty is not “perfect form” nor is it “perfectly youthful”.  The definition of beauty is “pleasing to the eye” and yes, beauty is still in the eyes of the beholder.  Sometimes as women, we must ask the question,"whose eyes are beholding me and who is the beholder that I must impress?"

So what does God see when He beholds the beauty of femininity?  He sees the softness and the gentleness that can bring “quiet” to even the noisiest atmosphere just by entering it.  He sees the conceiver and bearer of life. Whether it’s nursing a baby or looking after an elderly parent - no one has the ability to sustain life like a woman.  He sees a comforter and nurturer and everything else that goes along with being someone’s daughter, mother, aunt, sister or wife.  To God, beauty is in our countenance and it’s in our response.  It’s in our eyes and it’s in our smile.  Don’t believe that one’s countenance and smile can make you beautiful?  Then take the time to visit a nursing home soon where I’m sure you will find many ninety year old women who are absolutely beautiful.

So fix it, curl it, or straighten it...  Buy it, wear it, and feel good about it!  Just know that what makes you beautiful is deeper than anything that you can put on or take off.  The Proverbs 31 woman made herself some beautiful clothes.  She obviously knew how to look good but it was her feminine design that made her all together beautiful.  Fixing up the outside is never a bad thing but understanding the beauty underneath the skin of femininity is a very good thing.  Log on next week for the continued study of Woman... God's Good Thing.

Loving U Like a Sister,

Regina

Number 3: Femininity Wants to Help and is a Giver by Design

Woman…God’s Good Thing! An In-depth look into Femininity from the Proverbs 31 Woman

The Proverbs 31 woman extended her hands to the poor and reached out her hands to the needy.  Every woman is a helper and giver by God’s design whether she knows it or not.  When God created a woman it was after He had already created a man.  So you can be sure that His plan for women was thoughtful and strategic in keeping with the order of things.  God was sure not to give the same instincts and characteristics to both the man and the woman.  Masculinity was created with the nature of "pursuer and conqueror".  Femininity was created with the nature of "if you are lucky enough to catch me, I can and will help you" (and I’ve been around long enough to know that masculinity definitely needs our help!).  The giver and helper in femininity coincide with the rest of her personality so that masculinity feels good about what he’s already pursued and conquered.  Not only is the woman "God’s gift to man", she is the gift that keeps on giving.

Giving and helping is very rewarding and fulfilling to the female nature.  Whether it’s a delicious meal that an older woman has cooked or a helping hand from a young girl, femininity wants to do something for someone else.  We all probably know a few examples of women who don’t strike us as helpers or givers but take note that these women are usually not the happiest people in the world.  As a matter of fact, they generally are the most miserable!  Women were made to help and are deeply satisfied when they can give.  Even in this modern society, there are many highly educated and successful women that still feel incomplete because they have no family or no man in their life that they can help.  Our generation of women has come further than just having his baby or baking his bread, but trust me, femininity still wants to give masculinity something! lol

After the Proverbs 31 woman made sure that her family had everything that they needed, she helped and gave to others.  She wanted to help and was a giver by God’s design.  She was a good thing and so are you! Log on next week for the continued study of Woman... God's Good Thing.

Loving U like a Sister,

Regina